


Whole

by thedevilchicken



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Dreams, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 09:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedevilchicken/pseuds/thedevilchicken
Summary: When he dreams, he's whole again.





	Whole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chrysaora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysaora/gifts).

When he dreams, he's whole again. 

He'd call it a cruel joke but he understands that if it really is a joke, it's one he plays on himself. He brings himself here, to the Jedi Temple, the way it was before he did what he did and it became what it became. He hasn't returned there physically in years, because his place is elsewhere in the galaxy, but in his dreams he goes back there every night. 

The Temple is empty and the planet outside it is empty, too; he can feel that as he reaches out with the Force. When he dreams, he's the only living being in the galaxy, and all the plants in all the Temple gardens have long since turned to dust. The fountains are dry and the air tastes stale in his mouth. His footsteps echo loudly as he walks down the corridors, with no other sound to dull them. It's always like this. 

He's the only living being in the galaxy, until he's not. He's alone there, until he's not. He turns a corner and finds Obi-Wan sitting in an alcove underneath a window. He's not sure why he's surprised by that, after all this time. It's always like this, after all.

"Did you honestly think this would end just because I died?" Obi-Wan says, like he's read the surprise in Anakin's expression. He clucks his tongue. He shakes his head. "Oh, Anakin. You really never learn." 

Then he stands and he walks away and Anakin watches him go. They're the only two living beings in the galaxy, and still he lets him leave. He wishes that would make a difference. 

When he sits, the window seat still holds just the barest amount of residual warmth from Obi-Wan's body, and when he closes his eyes, he feels it even more strongly. He doesn't need to reach out with the Force to feel Obi-Wan himself, either; there's nothing else to confuse him with, so he can feel him feel him clearly. He's gone up to the council room, and he's kneeling in front of the window that overlooks the city, but he's not looking out. His forehead is resting down against the glass. His palms are pressed against it. Mind-reading isn't a Jedi trait, but Anakin is sure he knows what he's thinking. 

When this started, all they did was argue. Their raised voices echoed down the empty corridors. The things he said were designed to hurt. It didn't matter that Obi-Wan wasn't real. 

Soon after that, they fought. The blows he took and the blows he landed hurt him nearly equally. Somehow they never thought to use the Force; they always used their hands. 

And then, one day, one night in the Coruscant sunlight, Anakin tracked him down in the council room. He dragged him to his knees with one hand in his hair and he pressed him to the glass and when he looked at their reflections, what he was doing made sense. When Obi-Wan turned just far enough to kiss him, it was like another fight. It was too late to say the things he'd never said. It was too late to do the things he'd never done, at least out there in the galaxy, so he did them in his dream. But even when he dreams, sex solves nothing. The fact of what he's lost just makes him bitter. 

One moment he's asleep; the next, he's awake again, but somehow Obi-Wan's still there. He died not long ago, but he should have known that wouldn't stop him. 

"You really never learn," Obi-Wan says. His tone is familiar fond exasperation. "Did you honestly believe you were the only one dreaming?"

When Obi-Wan's ghost squeezes his shoulders, it's at least as real as his dreams have ever been. And, for a moment, Anakin almost feels a spark of hope.


End file.
